Bitter Women

Time and time again I am hearing from my male friends about their ex. wife/girlfriends using their children as buffers against their true feelings of anger and "hate".

Today, I was contacted by my buddy in Berlin, who recently split up from his long time girlfriend, as he found a "younger model". All was going fine, he thought until yesterday, when she told him when he was about to collect his 18 month old son, that "she thinks it best that he only sees his son twice a week". Now tell me is this fair?

The father's role in a child's life has an important influence on the child's self-image, capacity to form positive relationships and moral development.

At the time of separation and divorce, mothers are often overwhelmed by the demands of a single parenthood and unable to provide for all the psychological or emotional needs of their children. In such cases, a continued relationship with an involved father can provide additional reassurance and nurturing during this difficult period. Boys who have lost close ties with their fathers often attain lower levels of academic achievement, have difficulty developing a healthy masculine self-image and demonstrate rebellious, aggressive and impulsive behaviour. Girls in this situation often have greater difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy and satisfying love relationship with males. They also tend to become sexually active at a younger age and have more sexual partners than girls whose fathers remain actively involved in their lives.

Daniel H. Swerdlow-freed, Ph.D