Party

After weeks of negotiation, I finally agree a financial package with my eldest daughter where she can babysit her little brother for a fee! Saturday starts off with me walking up to Hellerup to collect my bike from outside my son's nursery, breakfast consists of egg & bacon plus warm rye bread. 

12 noon kick off, and a 4-2 home defeat in the last game of the season - I play my worst game, missing 3 "easy" chances for a player of my standard. "Sh*t happens!" "Saving the goals until next season!" are some of the comments from my team mates, as I drink my beer in the changing room in the knowledge that I am going to Jesper's 40th birthday party.

My youngest daughter has to be driven to a party in Rungsted starting at kl.17.00, so I put on my newly dry cleaned Aquascutum LTD suit, white shirt and tie - off we go! The navigation system tries its best to get me lost, but I follow my instincts and within 15 minutes, she is greeted enthusiastically by her class mates.

The party starts at kl.18.30 sharp - I get on my bike and off I go, within 300 metres I end up in the leaves. The car stops and the driver comes over to apologise, and in my "new life" I do not do anger, so I calmly explain to her that it was  not necessary to be in such a rush and surely she must of seen me :-) 5 minutes later, back on my bike and on the way to the party.

I'm late only 10 minutes, I great Jesper with a hug, take off my coat, put on my suit jacket and introduce myself to the fellow party goers. It is only then that I realise that I do not know anyone, apart from Jesper - this is going to be fun !

As per normal in any gathering of persons, they split up into cliques - there are 20 of us, all couples except Jesper, myself and the 2 women whose partners could not attend. I do the rounds, breaking into the cliques, listening and then with a greeting - get them to relax. Really, they know each other, so they should have learned by now that it should be their responsibility to welcome me, embrace and intergrate me into their network, but alas it always seems to be the other way around.

Dinner is supplied by outside catering company and all 3 courses were superb. Wine, both red and white are flowing and everyone is getting relaxed - Jesper makes his speech thanking us all for being his friend, and at the same time introducing each person and explaining how he knows each person. In my case, Jesper was working at my eldest daughter's nursery when I first came to Denmark. He had recently returned to Copenhagen from Rome where his (then) girlfriend was working for the Danish Embassy, and was re-posted to DK.

2 more speeches, dinner finished and the DJ arrives - now the party started. EVERYONE on the dance floor, smiling drinking and having fun - RESPECT! This is what a party is supposed to be like, everyone having fun - I cannot remember getting home, but I know that I did as my children woke me up at kl.8.30 to the sound of television.

Yesterday was spent, nursing a hangover!

And Chelsea lost at home 1-0 to Liverpool, the first time for almost 4 years - all good things come to an end, but as one door closes, another one opens.

Thanks Jesper for a super party - RESPECT is due to ALL your guests, without a doubt in my opinion, the party of the year!

Skinny models!

After a very long season, which began in mid June and only ended last weekend, even though to be honest, I still have 2 more clients to see - one in Milan and one in London, my dear colleague will do the appointments for me - thanks JB :-)

Show after show, both mens and women, the models are really, really skinny. When I spoke to a colleague in Milan about the shows, her comment was that there body was the same size as my 13 year old daughter! For me, the comment of the year - Suzy Menkes (fashion editor at the International Herald Tribune), commenting on the Prada show where several models struggled to walk the walk, maybe due to the heels or maybe their lack of nutrition! "................ the unfortunate model, whose figure, folding up like a pipe cleaner as she hit the concrete floor, made even the most seasoned fashionista squirm."

This brings a smile to my face every time - keep up the good work Ms Menkes - I love it!

Single By Choice!

A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a female friend who is in her 30's, single and attractive. At the start of the lunch she told me she was happy being single and she enjoyed her freedom. I then asked her whether she missed the intimacy of being in a loving relationship - and when I looked into her eyes I knew the answer!

If you believe what you read in the newspapers, then there has never been a better time to be a single man or woman. The term "spurmos" - straight, proud, unmarried men over 30 - is new to me, also "freemales" - women who are too busy having a good time to worry  or have time for relationships. I wonder how many spurmos and freemales are in my network of friends?

The stereotype of the single woman is of someone crying into her Chardonnay as she watches another episode of her Sex and the City box set, the stereotype of the single man is someone gallivanting through town from one wild and sexual affair to another.

In my opinion, both men and women want the same things: intimacy, the sense that there is someone to whom you are the most important person in the world, the person you call first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Being single gives you freedom, but the truth is never like the fantasy :-) 

Are you single by choice?

Bitter Women

Time and time again I am hearing from my male friends about their ex. wife/girlfriends using their children as buffers against their true feelings of anger and "hate".

Today, I was contacted by my buddy in Berlin, who recently split up from his long time girlfriend, as he found a "younger model". All was going fine, he thought until yesterday, when she told him when he was about to collect his 18 month old son, that "she thinks it best that he only sees his son twice a week". Now tell me is this fair?

The father's role in a child's life has an important influence on the child's self-image, capacity to form positive relationships and moral development.

At the time of separation and divorce, mothers are often overwhelmed by the demands of a single parenthood and unable to provide for all the psychological or emotional needs of their children. In such cases, a continued relationship with an involved father can provide additional reassurance and nurturing during this difficult period. Boys who have lost close ties with their fathers often attain lower levels of academic achievement, have difficulty developing a healthy masculine self-image and demonstrate rebellious, aggressive and impulsive behaviour. Girls in this situation often have greater difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy and satisfying love relationship with males. They also tend to become sexually active at a younger age and have more sexual partners than girls whose fathers remain actively involved in their lives.

Daniel H. Swerdlow-freed, Ph.D

Quote of the day: Swiss police write to hooligans

This is an extract from a letter sent out by Swiss police to "known" football hooligans, warning them that no violence will be tolerated.

"Dear Sir/Madam,

We know that you are among those who do not always respect rules during sports tournaments and, so far as we are aware, have been banned from stadiums or received some other punishment...........We want you to be able to enjoy this great championship in a festive, fair minded spirit..........but please be aware that violence will not be tolerated..........we hope that we will meet again in pleasant circumstances. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us."

Also reported within the Swiss media, "fans could express their joy" in pedestrian zones which are accessible via public transport!

"The police will be tolerant on noise at the end of matches, but will watch that it does not go to far to compromise the tranquillity of residents."

Basically, I'm really glad that for our 2018 chances that England did not qualify for Euro 2008; by the way, I wonder how many "hooligans" understand English!

Too much has happened to try and re-create my history over my enforced 14 day break.

In my world certain events have had an incredible effect on my life - a major Swedish player in the clothing business is on the verge of bankruptcy, not only losing me personal friends, but also an awful lot of money. Speaking of money, my own little retail venture is also closing down, anther expensive lesson learned! I have advised my bank to kindly inform when I approach them with a new wonderful idea, promising to make me lots of money, that they should remind me that when it comes to investment, I should stick to property, art and stocks.

Congratulations to Lars & Marie Louise on the birth of their new daughter.

An entertaining Champions League Final saw my beloved Chelsea lose 6-5 to Man. Utd on penalties, after the match finished 1-1. Poor JT - I really hope that he starts to get therapy now, as it would such a tragedy if he ended up like Gazza.

A big thanks must go out to Tobias for opening my eyes to the beauty of the Danish countryside, and only 25 minutes from Copenhagen - check out his website, even though it is not updated (http://tobiasginsborg.com).

A big shout should also go out to Facebook, as it has helped me get in touch with my past, a lot of "old" faces are suddenly back in my life. And I'm really happy that this medium is helping me in my healing process (no I'm not medically ill), I'm speaking about regaining my sense of wholeness and emotional wellness.

Now I'm off to see my 10 year daughter star in the school play, and then work for a few hours before a night out in Copenhagen with my mates.

What have I done to make Google think that I'm a Blog Spam?

Yesterday evening I went into Copenhagen to meet my friend for a drink. She is an engineer working for Nokia, she had a new phone but under the "secrecy terms of her contract" - I could not see it, as it has not been launched yet! Anyway, we had the most interesting conversation over a couple of glasses of Chardonnay, and her orange juice.

as she is "hung up" on this guy at work, and has been for 2 years but they have never been out together 1 to 1, wow I thought. After going into depth about relationships, I was shocked to hear that she thought that her behaviour was normal, and that I was out of tune with my feelings as I thought that one should go and get what one wants and not wait!

I was brought up with the British, "patience is a virtue" theory, but when it comes to the opposite sex, my theory has always been, "fortune favours the brave!"

When I got home and turned on my computer, I had received a message from Google - "Your blog has been identified as a potential spam blog" - What the hell was that all about? Apparently, they will take a look at it and revert within 4 working days.

This is a disgrace! I have only been blogging for 2 days and I'm already a threat to the establishment, was this because:-

a) Google know that I thought that Yahoo were mad to turn down Uncle Bill's 47.5 billion dollar offer?

b) I sent my Blog link to my friends on Facebook? or

c) Too many people are reading my Blog?

Enjoy the holidays

I'm a Blogger

T.S. Eliot once said that, "Television, is a medium which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke, and yet remain lonesome."

For many, including myself, the Internet has replaced television as the way our free time gets used. Statistics say that for every hour people spend using the Internet, their face-to-face contact with friends, colleagues, and family fell by 24 minutes.

We stay in touch at arm's length, we should remember - "You can't get a hug or a kiss over the Internet."

In my opinion, the cyber world (e-mail, SMS, IM, etc.,) we are currently living in, is a great way to maintain communication whilst we live in different countries, cities, even towns, but I'm an old fashioned guy, that still enjoys face-to-face conversation, even though I'm also a Blogger!

Football update

After my local team, Skovshoved (SIF) managed to lose 6-3 to Victoria at Faelledparken (on perhaps the worst pitch I have played on in my time in DK) last night; on the evidence of that performance my football career is coming to an end, even though I managed to score 2 of our 3 goals - the mind says yes, but the legs say NO! 

The sight of old men running around, with waistline circumferences which are substantially greater than their IQ cannot be a pretty sight.

The definition of playing

Going out to play has some serious benefits, through years of hard play, one develops a range of social expertise, e.g. we learn how to negotiate power struggles, how to cooperate and form friendships, and also how to concede with grace!

Play both demands and creates its own safe space, one in which we can confront threats, fears, and dangers - but always come through whole. Play offers us a natural way to manage feared separations or abandonments, and instead see them as opportunities for self-discovery.

As a Tibetan saying has it, "When you smile at life, half the smile is for your face, the other half for somebody else's."

Play, smile - have fun and enjoy life :-)